Daddey where is mommey ?

I

They said that i had two main vices; cigars(King Edward or Hamlet brand) and books.
Where others were addicted to sex, they said for me a good book was enough aphrodisiac to last a month or two, until my next craving, or my next book....

My dear little Isadora darling

I am going to find you a new mommey. Where will i get her you ask? In the food store in the fresh food section? Goodness! Oh my little Isadora, don't make daddey smile when he should be sad and blue. Mommeys don't come from the food store. They come from a special place where God has kept them safe. Moulding and perfecting them and just when daddey is sad and alone and asks Him, then He will send mommey for daddey when he is sleeping, just like Adam.

And the old mommey, did she break like the clay feet of the image in Nebucchadnezzer's dream?

Nebuchadnezzer? Oh child your comparatives are uncanny, admit it, those are your daddy's genes huh? Well daddey is not going to read you such stories anymore. You are supposed to ask if mommey broke like Jill's pail when she and jack went up the hill!

And what about this mommey?

The mommey who is carrying you will not be with us for long after you come. She is leaving this little island port world of ours for a bigger sunnier world.

Oh Isadora darling. Don't be sad, your current mommey is not leaving because of you. She loves you very very much. See how she is always reading you poems from her secret little book that no one else has ever seen?
Why does mommey leave. Doesn't she love daddey anymore? Doesn't she love you anymore?

Child when you come and grow up you will understand that sometimes daddeys and mommeys cannot be together but.... we will always love you no matter what. You are our little golden girl, our princess.

II

They said that when my daughter was born, a certain oracle thus prophesied:
With the enlightenment of her mind from the wealth of her books, the kings of this world knelt at her feet like a child at his mother's feet; eagerly awaiting a new tale, perhaps of the adventures of b'er rabbi and b'er bouki.

Where is she going to you ask?

She says the cold here does her skin bad and so she will find herself a new jurisdiction, like Bahamas. What is a new jurisdiction you ask?
Is it like the ranch George and Lennie were looking for in of mice and men after they run away from the old one?
Daddey when i come, can i have a mouse like lennie? You now excitedly ask seemingly having forgotten your gloom of but a second earlier.
Oh child! i really must stop reading you these stories. No boy will want you if you carry mice in your pockets instead of flowers and barbie and lollipop!

Ah i see by your soon -to- be- formed eyes light up now just like they will do when you get a bright idea.
Will the new mommey have an exotic name like Ava Gardner. And will she charm men like Anna Karenina? And will she be loyal like Ruth, and will she help you paint your nails and lips red like Maryln Monroe. And will her dresses have little flowers like the lavenders in the meadow beside our house. And will she have the influence and heart of gold like Diana the princess of wales. What about her hair? Shall it be used to clean the master's feet after pouring on them Alabaster oil or shall it flow wild when the wind blows as she drives along winding roads in the Swiss Alps?

Child for a start, you mommey's hair piece would fly away if she drove an open car!

And are you sure there is no little TV screen in there feeding you the images and stories of this world you are not even in yet?

Your daddey will simply find a mommey who makes him happy, because daddey works long hours and needs to come home to a mommey who doesnt harangue him with all sorts of questions, cooks him his favourite meal every every day and will help him remove his tie while rubbing his beard gently. One who will kiss his tears with her lips when daddey is blue. For daddey sometimes cries when he is sad. But only when he is alone for daddeys are never supposed to cry. They are supposed to be strong and hold the world on their shoulders. Yes like Hercules, no not like Captain Jack Sparrow!

Pirates are bad bad men. Repeat after me. Bad bad men....because they smoke, they drink, they curse and even if they have only one leg, one hand and one eye, they wander around the world breaking every woman's heart at each port of call and yet when they return, these very women take them in again and again like a long forgotten lover.

Wasn't daddy once a pirate called One patch eye hooker? Alright who said that? Does Polly want a cracker, up the ass! Oops baby, never ever ever use that word. Daddy was upset for a second. Repeat after me. never ever.

III

They said that when my son was born, he had in one hand James Joyce's Ulysses and in the other Gabriel Garcia Marquez's One hundred years of solitude, two of this century's greatest books...

Now let's go and check on your little brother. Little boys left alone to their own devices, even when still unborn can be trouble. Then after that, does my little Isadora want to hear the story of the Aurelianos again?

No daddy, one hundred years of solitude is sad. I am already sad right now. I want to hear about Hassan and Ali in the Kite runner. No on second thought, that too is sad. Wait, tell me again about Anna Karenina and the captain and....

Oh daddey even Anna Karenina is sad! Maybe you should read Ulysses to Little Pete. Boys are weird and made of nails and lizard tails and that's why like Pete they like strange books like that Ulysses and a tale of two cities. Dont you see how everytime you read it to him he squirms about in the womb in excitement?

But do tell daddey, Why are all the books in your so called enlightenment list sad! Are you always sad daddey?

IV

To you my unborn children i bequethed these gifts. To remove you from the darkness of ignorance into the light of knowledge. That they may be a rock of surety in times of doubt, a compass in stormy seas of illiteracy and a shield in battles against this dark dumb world.

There is a Patek Phillipe watch advert that says that you don't really ever own it. You merely look after it for the next generation.
That is how it was with these books i bought and read to you my unborn children.

To you my unborn children i bequeth the enlightenment list....

The enlightenment list

• The King James bible
• The Tipping Point, James Gladwell
• The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini
• The reluctant fundamentalist, Moshin Hamid
• Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
• Love in the time of Cholera, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
• Of mice and men, John Steinbeck
• Yinna vol 2, a publication of the Bahamas Association of Cultural Studies(BACUS)
• A tale of two cities, Charles Dickens
• Ulysses, James Joyce
• One hundred years of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
  

***End****

Last week's poll results:

Should we return to a form of arranged marriage just like the "good ol days"

Yes: 0%
No: 0%
It depends: 75%
You must be mad: 25%