New beginnings

Jacque wrote to me. She thinks my current facebook profile messages are pyscho-ish.
her comment is probably because of recent i have written unusual status messages like: "one day i'll fly away, i will stop calling or caring and then you'll miss me", next it was "its going down" then my last status simply said I am "returning home."
She thinks it's all strange but i believe it's not, infact they have all been herald's of my new beginnings since i came to this new place i call home.
Because you my dear children need to know all about Daddey so you can understand him when you come, i will explain them in detail.

One day i'll fly away
When mommey left, i was depressed at first and then i slowly became strong again. We started talking again even if we were not together anymore, sometimes talking to her was depressing, not because she is boring(far from it, she is quite a handful) but daddey felt that she and he were going round and round in circles like a gyroscope or perhaps like a cat chasing its tail.
Daddey didnt have the courage at first to tell her to her face and so he wrote on the facebook wall, but then eventually one day when they got to talking he told her :one day i'll fly away, and now he is at peace...
Is daddey back with mommey, you want to know?
Oh my dear Isadora, you always asked daddey the tougher questions, just like daddey always asked. Admit it, those are your daddey's genes hugh?
Can daddey (like mommey) plead the 5th amendment on the question?

It's going down
Two exciting deals went down this week and thus the cause of the message.
(i) i was enroute to the airport with the company MD, we were going for a meeting in Guernsey, which is one of our neighbouring islands(only a 15 minute flight), as we travelled, he commended me on my continued excellent work and he reiterated his initial offer at the time i came here for an equity stake as a director in the company.
Oh my dear little ones, we are talking about at least GBP 100k a year!
Ahh but let me not get carried out, the offer is perhaps 2 years in the making and from my knowledge of the director, it is dependent on my continued delivery to a high quality standard. Nevertheless with the strengh I will receive from above, i can only thank our God for this outpouring of blessings and yeah if only to keep up the current level of delivering on tasks.

(ii)During a company dinner, i sat down with David, one of the retired company directors and we talked about a variety of topics and eventually we settled on books and i told him how expensive it was to get good books, well he told me of the Jersey hospice charity shop which has some of the most amazing book selections.
I decided to venture there and to my surprise i even found something more than the books i intended to get and much more than i could have bargained for. I got cuch cheap and great furniture, so low that i probably saved GBP 400 plus. I got the following(current market price in brackets)
TV and Stand GBP 25(150)
2 100 CD/DVD stands GBP 3(20)
4 art paintings GBP 25 (200)
I multiple stand GBP 8 (30)
1 eastern miniature golden set GBP 3 (20)
4 classic books GBP 1.5 (28)
Total Cost-Charity shop GBP 63.5
Total Cost-Standard: 428
Savings: Priceless!
I even have pictures of my new great look house and for what its worth, through my purchases I am supporting charity. Afterall if my 10 cents can provide clean water for 10 children then my 63 GBP can provide for a whole village,thats not such a bad thing afterall.

Living room(with the TV, some of the books, Eastern minature gold set and the CD/DVD stand)












Multipurpose stand(with one painting in background of kitchen)













Painting











Returning home

my dear Isadora, 3 interconnected events happened to me to make me think of returning home.
The first was a simple email from a friend of mine, the second was my slowly rising portfolio and investments and the third was always going out and partying.

KK sent me email and he told me of an old school mate who had died in a bar brawl. I am always going out and being different(ie black) among a predominantly white population(99%), perhaps one day someone may not like me for dancing cool, getting the girls swooning everytime i walk into a pub or just because i am feeling cool with my cigars(and blacks are supposed to be picking cotton or starving in Darfur, not smoking cigars). They may then decide to stab me or something sinister.
I was then reminded of my own mortality and i heard the words of Roman emperor Marcus Auerlius:
death smiles at us all and the only thing we can do is smile back.

I then embarked on writing my will!

When i completed it, i sent it off to my sister who is also a lawyer.
I later told mommey. She laughed at me and she wondered why i was writing a will when i had nothing!
She is brutally honest that one, but i love her despite all. Oh well, but what she didnt know is that right now i am actually worth so much more to my family dead than alive. Its such an irony and a sad fact but all so so true.
According to my company insurance plan, at my death, my family gets my 3 years' salary.
As a director designate, that woud be GBP 300,000 , less inheritance tax of say 30% which would equal about GBP 210,000 which is wait a minute, SHS 630m!(yes, six hundred thirty million shillings), that is not even counting my national insurance scheme benefit and my current growing investment portfolio.
I now even see why for example here family members kill each other, protect loads of assets in trusts or some people fake their own deaths. Man oh man, there is profit to be made in death and it is on a definite event, its like there is a guaranteed 1000% ++ return on my death.

Its funny but as i write this, i dont feel sad or anything, rather i feel glad that even in death, i can still leave my family happy even though they will sad.
Since writing my will, i have somehow felt at peace to the extent that i have in a way organised my affairs here on earth, now only to make peace with my heavenly father and like the prodigal son start the process of RETURNING HOME.

In retrospect i have often wondered if people often get indicators of their impending demise. You know the type like where the evangelist Billy Graham went to see Marylin Monroe with a message from God and she said "i don't need your Jesus" and one week later she died.
This stuff really freaks me out and i worry whether I am being rebellious.
Oh Lord how the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
Perhaps i will live another 50 years(God willing) and will look back to this letter to you my dear ones and wonder why i was worried, but what if i was not wrong? Anyway these are the causes of my present worries.
(a) I am always listening to music. Be it at home or at office(everyone knows me that i work with headphones plugged in all day).My music is always on random play and i find it strange that it too often plays gospel music. When i am say thinking or reading something religious, its like on almost cue, the music changes to gospel.I could almost bet that of recent, gospel music forms perhaps 30% of my random play list and yet its only like 1% of my total music library. Sometimes the songs even play back to back. Its like even in this I am getting messages from the Godhead. Coincidence some people will say? I am not sure there are coincidences. Someone once said that coincidences like good luck are miracles where God chooses to remain anonymous.
(b) As i write this, in a freakish way, 911 by Wyclef and Mary J Blige has began playing and the opening song lines are thus: "If death comes to me tonight girl, i want you to know that i loved you"
(c) My poetry is so often interlaced with death/sad themes that i sometimes call myself the sad poet. I feel like I am actually going to die young. Take an example of these poems

(i) On Archeology(Blackberry man)
http://esquire-sunshinepoems.blogspot.com/2008/06/on-archeologyblackberry-man.html

(ii) A fact(sadness)
http://esquire-sunshinepoems.blogspot.com/2008/06/factsadness.html

(iii) Lamentations(on the eve of my execution)
http://esquire-sunshinepoems.blogspot.com/2008/02/lamentations-on-eve-of-my-execution.html

(iv) A letter to Manjeri of the mountain
http://esquire-sunshinepoems.blogspot.com/2007/06/letter-to-manjeri-of-mountain.html



Prayer
Dear Lord,
Give me long life that i may read these letters to these my unborn children.
That i may tell her i loved her always since i first saw her and still 50 years henceforth
That i may say:
I have fought the good fight. I have completed the race. I have kept the faith.
(2 Timothy 4: 7)
Amen

**end***